Megs

I've thought long and hard and gone back and forth about what to do about Megs. Today I decided the best thing to do for Megs is bring her back to the shelter to go up for adoption. With my current living situation she's confined to a small cage when I can't be home to supervise her and it just isn't fair to her. I'm planning to move in the fall but I can't her live like that for another two months. My other foster kittens all had run of the apartment by this age. They'd be in the bunny cage overnight but that's about it. Megs is getting bigger every day and she's active and really needs freedom to explore and play and develop her kitty skills. She's not going to have that here. I do need to talk to the Animal Care Manager to make sure she'll go straight up for adoption... I don't want to bring her back just to have her sit in a "sick room". If AB agrees she can go right up for adoption I'll be taking her back early next week (The shelter is closed Monday).

I won't lie, this hurts a lot. I've absolutely fallen in love with her and so has Punkin, but I have to think about what's best for Megs. Spending 20 hours a day in a small cage for the next two months isn't what is best for her. Bringing her back will be the hardest thing I've had to do since Humphrey. But Humphrey found a wonderful home and is truly a "success story".

I hate asking for help, or making any admission of weakness for that matter, but if someone can come with me when it's time to bring Megs back and remind me I'm doing the right thing I'd really appreciate the moral support.

Love doesn't quit

This is one of my favourite "Pit Bull" videos. It's an accurate portrayal of the breed and I hope when people watch it they'll search their hearts and find compassion, not fear. I also hope they'll understand why there's no way we're giving up on these dogs.

The Great American Pit Bull Terrier

Authentic Happiness - Signature Strengths

As a follow up to the lecture on Positive Psychology I visited this website. There are a number of tests and resources on the site and they're all free. According to one of the tests (240 questions) these are my "signature strengths":

Your Top Strength

Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Your Second Strength

Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Your Third Strength

Bravery and valor You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Your Fourth Strength

Fairness, equity, and justice Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Your Fifth Strength

Kindness and generosity You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well. I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the results. If you take the test yourself let us know whether or not you feel the results are accurate.

Pet Therapy Update: Youth Detention and Secure Treatment Centre

I took Chelsea to the Youth Detention and Secure Treatment Centre for a meet and greet. We were also given a tour to get a feel for the facility. I didn't really know what to expect. Heather had warned me that it's an extremely stressful assignment and the e-mails I'd received from the guy who coordinates the programs were more friendly and familiar than I was comfortable with. Today I received an e-mail from Heather assuring me that's just how this guy is so I felt better right away. I deal with a lot of different personalities through work and I grew up around cops so I know how to handle myself as long as I know what I'm dealing with.

In person the man I've been exchanging e-mails with is much more what I would have expected and not overly familiar. I got the impression that he really understands how beneficial Pet Therapy can be and he said it would be really important to the kids. We'll be dealing with kids who have mental illnesses and are at this particular facility getting court ordered treatment. Chelsea is so intuitive and she really has a gift of knowing where she's needed. I'm so glad I'll get to share that gift with kids who truly need it so I'm looking forward to getting started. Going in there just felt right and I know this is where we're supposed to be.

Positive Psychology in a Negative Environment with Nathan Cooper

In a word - excellent. I hope I do it justice here.

Positive Psychology is designed to pick up where Cognitive Therapy ends. The way it was explained is Cognitive Therapy is considered "successful" in the absence of symptoms. Positive Psychology builds on that to help people achieve positive emotion, engagement and meaning in their lives. If Cognitive Therapy can make you well, Positive Psychology can help you feel fulfilled.

It really comes down to mindset. Where the focus of Cognitive Therapy tends to be negative (talking about problems, negative experiences etc.) Positive Psychology focuses on what's positive. People who are optimistic enjoy better health, perform better at work, are less likely to experience depression, etc. Some people are naturally happy and optimistic, some people have to work at it. Nathan emphasized that the crux of Positive Psychology is that anyone can learn to be optimistic. Anyone can learn to be happy.

People who are pessimistic tend to have external explanations for success (good grade because the Leafs scored while my prof was marking exam) and internal explanations for failures (failed the exam because of stupidity rather than lack of preparation, etc). The way to move from pessimism to optimism is to challenge the way you think, then change it.

Two of the key concepts are gratitude and savoring. One recommended exercise is to keep a gratitude journal. Each day write down three blessings and what was behind them (ie. Lulu and I had a great run today because I put a lot of time into training her and it's starting to show). Savoring comes down to mindfulness, and allowing yourself to be fully in the present. If you slow down every day experiences (hot shower, cup of coffee, walking the dog) you will take more away from them which will increase happiness.

The definitive book on Positive Psychology is written by Martin Seligman, PhD and it's called Authentic Happiness: Using the new Positive Psychology to Realize your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. There is lots of empirical evidence showing that Positive Psychology is effective. It's definitely something I want to learn more about.

Positive Psychology and random Deja Vu

Positive Psychology in a Negative Environment is the name of an event hosted by McMaster's Alumni Association. I've loved every Alumni Association event I've attended. Nothing against my fellow cogs in the corporate machine but it's so refreshing to sit back and listen to someone exceptional speak and just take it all in. I always leave feeling like it's been a worthwhile experience and can't wait to share what I've learned. I'm really looking forward to the event tonight, and the fact that it's supposed to rain is a bonus because I won't feel like I'm missing out on Dogapalooza.

The event is tonight at the Burlington Art Centre so I looked it up online to get directions. As soon as the image popped up I remembered taking pottery classes there when I was really young. So young that I used to watch My Pet Monster in the lounge after class waiting for my mom to pick me up. Random! I kind of love the fact that many, many years later I'll still be going there to learn. Just not about clay :)

People > $

We have a responsibility toward one another. Even during a recession. At this year's G8 summit, HIV-AIDS was not even mentioned. The G8 leaders have already acknowledged that the human cost of HIV-AIDS in poorer countries is catastrophic. In 2005 they pledged universal access to AIDS treatment by 2010. In many parts of Africa entire generations are being wiped out by AIDS. It's easy to turn a blind eye to what's happening on the other side of the world when so many are facing difficult times in North America. But the issue of universal treatment is obviously one of life or death. You can read more here

What to do about Megs?

My housemate and I have (finally) come to the conclusion that this living arrangement isn't working out. The constant tension is... well, tense. And she's not really loving living with a zoo. Buster almost never comes out which makes me sad, and Punkin is pretty high on her shit list which makes me defensive of him (he's a spaz but he's my spaz). My foster kitten Megs is still sneezing so she can't go up for adoption yet (can't risk her passing something on to the cats at the shelter). I hadn't considered adopting her because I knew my roomie was at her furry limit, but now that we're going to be going our separate ways...

I love Megs and she's been with us for over two months now. She's older than a lot of the kittens at the shelter but she's really beautiful and she has a great purr so there's no question that she's still very adoptable. On the other hand she fits in really well with the zoo. She and Punkin have really bonded and it's so great to see him have a companion to play with, plus I love her spunk. I'll probably decide the right thing to do is let her go up for adoption, and bring home another foster kitten for Punkin to play with. It will suck to see her at the shelter and I know Punkin will miss her, but short term pain for long term gain, right?

It's a jungle out there!

I went back and forth on whether or not I should post this. I'm sure it's not great for my karma but it's so RANDOM and I thought some of you might like to know what we gals are subjected to in the world of online dating (and no, it's not all bad). This is the profile of someone who contacted me recently. Um, maybe you should just read it.

In My Own Words

Okay first of all. Stop lying to yourself.

You all say you are looking for Mr. Right lol
But yet you always find yourself with Mr. Wrong

Time to wake up

Your on here searching for the exact same thing
that brought you here in the first place. The fact that
you can not find the right guy that will treat you with
respect for more than one night.
So stop lying to yourself and thinking that the next
guy that's flexing his muscles or fixing his hair will be the one.

Sure you can close this profile and keep searching
through endless photos of pretty boys with nothing
more to offer than a boring ride in the sack. Really I
won't mind you will just be proving my point.

But the fact that you are still reading this means you
are actually thinking about what I said and your intrigued
by what I might say next. So i suggest you read on
and maybe you will see someone that will make you fall
in love with him every day and show you the true
meaning of romance and passion.

Now I admit i may not be the best looking guy
and personally I don't try to be who I am not
What you see is what you get.

I am just a guy, with a big heart, a great sense of
humor, a passion for adventure, romance, trustworthy,
loving, honest, caring, loyal, thoughtful, a great cook,
intelligent, funny, secure,
and a big teddy bear when you just need a hug.

So when you are ready for a real man and to
have the greatest adventure of your life, together
just send me a mail.

A tad presumptuous, yes? So - if I'm getting this right - we're all sluts with low self esteem who will throw ourselves at the first pretty boy that comes along, pretty boys will never be interested in anything other than sex and we should stop being so superficial and shallow and give this big teddy bear a chance. Does that sound about right? I should also note that our "teddy bear" is standing beside his red Mercedes in his profile picture, and the model is part of his username. FAIL.

So why post the profile? Because as soon as I was able to get past being shocked I started feeling pretty angry. What misogynistic bullshit. He's either assuming women are used to being treated with disrespect or he's targeting women who are expecting to or afraid of being used by men, which is even worse.

He's not doing his own gender any favours either. So if a man is attractive he's got nothing to offer (other than a shag of course)? I know a lot of great looking guys who are also amazing people. Some of them are reading this! You know who you are ;)

But according to our friend, if a woman wants a man who will be nice to her she's got to settle for someone like him. And if she's not interested that means she's superficial, right? Whatever you say Mercedes boy.

Before the Bee there was a Scarecrow

I know this much is true: you haven't lived until you've met the opposite sex version of yourself. At least that's how it started. I met mine at work... so he was "Matthew" and I was "Kimberley". He was one of the funniest people I'd ever met. We're both Scorpios. That's important. And he had a black Cocker Spaniel growing up. And when he heard a little old woman reading out her visa number "45, oh oh, oh oh," he also thought it sounded like she was having an orgasm. We both smoked. We played "what do you suppose brought that on?". The only difference seemed to be our taste in men.

Matthew: "Have you ever had a guy meet you at the airport with flowers?"
Me: "Shut up Matthew".

And so he became The Male Version of Me With Better Taste in Men (sorry exes. flowers at airport. or just flowers. write it down. your significant other will thank me).

Then it was time for me to move on, find a job closer to home (and my puppy) with better pay. And we took our last break together, having a smoke in a bus shelter I think, and he told me he really sucked at good byes. We were part of a really amazing team at work. Truly. But as Dorothy said to the Scarecrow I told Matthew I would miss him most of all. Luckily for me it wasn't really goodbye.

Not long after I left that job Matt left too. He made the courageous decision to school to pursue his dream. Busy lives, wonky schedules, you know how it goes. Our visits were too few and too far between but his place in my heart never diminished. He was there through the drama with the next door neighbour. Yes, THAT drama. He sat with me through Sharkwater and understood that while we watched sharks being "finned" I was being gutted (metaphorically of course). When my Nan was sick and we were told she was dying somehow he knew a night of Corona and watching prostitutes from his balcony would be just what the doctor ordered.

My Scarecrow has become one of my bee people (see Blind Melon video for No Rain). If I need him I know he's there, busy lives wonky schedules and all...without question, without exception, without condition, without judgment. Now that's a bee person.

I love you Matty. Cheers!