For some reason I happened to be watching CTV (aka Canada's Tory Voice) when the news came on this evening. One of the featured stories was about outrage over the White Poppy Campaign.
Rememberance Day is a Commonwealth holiday (also known as Poppy Day or Armistace Day) commemorating the sacrifices of members of the armed forces and civilians in times of war, specifically World War I, which ended with the signing of the German Armistice of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918.
According to Canadian Centers for Teaching Peace, the Women's co-operative Guild in England chose to wear white poppies in 1933 to symbolize their commitment to work for peace and to end their complicity with militarism. The tradition is being adopted in many other communities now too. Many people are choosing to wear red poppies to remember veterans and white poppies to renew their commitment to work for peace and to remember the true costs and causes of war.
So who is outraged by this desire for true rememberance? Why, The Royal Canadian Legion of course. "It's remembrance season, it's not peace season. If they want to distribute something they can distribute a dove" said Legion spokesperson Bob Butt. I'd like to suggest he change his name to Ass, but that's neither here nor there.
The Royal Canadian Legion also made news this week when two white men attended a Halloween party at the Campbellford, Ontario branch of the Royal Canadian Legion dressed as a member of the KKK and a prisoner in blackface, complete with noose. Not only were they not tossed out of the party, they won a prize for their costumes.
I won't be setting foot in a Royal Canadian Legion branch for a loooong time, I don't care how cheap the beer is. It also makes me think twice about throwing some change in the poppy boxes, which is sad because a lot of that money goes to provide much needed assistance to veterans and seniors.
For those interested in adding a white poppy to their red poppy, or maybe rocking a white poppy solo, here is some contact information courtesty of my friend Matt:
Toronto: Anna Lou Little 416/ *** **** UPDATE : Anna is no longer involved with the campaign. I am actively trying to find a Toronto/GTA contact.
Victoria, BC: Marya Nyland ph/fax 250/ 592 6484 philmar at islandnet.com & Terry Wolfwood ph/fax 250/ 595 7519 bbcf at islandnet.com
Halifax, NS: Jan Slakov 902/ 837 4980 jslakov at tartannet.ns.ca
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
the long road home after the 'wellseley fire'
I arrived at the Wellseley Community Center for the first time Saturday afternoon. I knew there was a need for pet food after the 6 alarm fire on September 24 but I didn't know how great the need would be. As soon as I walked through the Center I was overwhelmed by the smell of smoke. People had left their apartments with the clothes on their back and the smokey smell was pervasive. Once I reached the Animal Information table and introuduced myself I was given a really warm reception by the City of Toronto staff working there (most were social workers from what I could tell).
People came to the table draped in Red Cross blankets to inquire about pets still in the building. There wasn't a lot of information available at that time and people were despondent. No tears, no outrage, no panic - at least not visibly. I delivered the pet food I had brought with me, and as I was unpacking the last few items I looked down to my left and saw an American Eskimo dog. I was about to ask the owner if the dog needed any food when I realized that the owner was an online friend of mine! She had come to donate pet food, leashes, carriers, etc. Finally meeting her made my day, and on a personal note it was nice to share the experience with someone, even briefly. Trying to explain it after the fact - the smell of smoke, the sight of people wrapped in blankets, the despondence, the overwhelming need - is difficult because I'm not sure I have the words to adequately describe it. After my friend and I parted ways I drove straight back to the Oakville Milton Humane Society because I had delivered the entire pet food bank that day and had nothing left. Fortunately they had several large bags of dog food so I loaded up the car again and headed home (after a pit stop at the LCBO lol).
That evening I saw a tweet on Twitter that the supply of dog food at the WCC was adequate but there was a desperate need for cat food. My heart sank because that's the one thing Project Maddie never has enough of. I bought some from a retailer and called it a day.
Sunday was a beautiful fall day. I drove to Toronto in light traffic congratulating myself on leaving early enough to beat any gridlock. What I didn't know about was the marathon that had most of the exits from the Gardiner closed. After a few detours, with some much needed help from Matt, I arrived at WCC. Things were a little different there on Sunday. The first thing I noticed is that security had really tightened up. Only 'residents', staff and volunteers were allowed access to the building (although people making donations were allowed to bring their donations in). The second thing I noticed is that there was no smokey smell at all people had somehow managed to change their clothes. I can't imagine going through the trauma of a fire only to have to sit around in clothing that smelled like the fire that just turned your life upside down. Maybe this was the very beginning of a new start, the first leg of the long journey "home", wherever that will be. The building wasn't as crowded. It was a completely different vibe than the day before.
I had made plans to meet Matt after dropping off the food but once I got there I stayed and volunteered at the Animal Information table. The city employee working there was fantastic and we worked very well together. Toronto Animal Services had finished a 24 hour shift at 2am Sunday morning - that's how long it took to check all of the units they knew had pets in them. For simplicity's sake they called it "registering". By 11:30 TAS was back to make another sweep of newly "registered" units. The officer I spoke to said the building was straight out of a horror movie. Cobwebs with huge spiders in them, cockroaches... he couldn't believe people and pets were living in these conditions. The social worker I was working with also told me about residents who slept outside rather than on cots in the makeshift shelter because they were afraid of getting bedbugs. Inspite of having very little to begin with and quite possibly having lost it all to fire, smoke, or water damage, the mood at the 'shelter' was very congenial. Pet owners inquiring about their pets were reassured to hear that a) their pet was alive (most were) and b) enough food and water had been left for two days. More food and water was left for them today. Most of people I met were stoic, gracious, and demonstrated admirable grace in the face of unimaginable loss.
I was fortunate to meet a few people Project Maddie was helping including a very sweet couple and their wonder dog Kelsey (rhymes with Chelsea :) ). Kelsey is a rescued German Shepherd cross (one of my favourite breed mixes to work with because they're so fecking clever). She has some of the same phobias Chelsea does. She also has a strong prey-drive and likes to pull on the leash. Sitting outside having a smoke with them and talking about simple things they can do to manage these issues was probably one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. The boyfriend talked passionately about his years as a volunteer dog walker at Toronto Humane Society. I couldn't really wrap my mind around them thanking me so profusely for pet food when it's obvious that they do a lot for animals (and probably other people) themselves.
Last week, before the fire, I received a message from Maddie's 'mom'. She has another dog and needed some food for him, which I had set aside and planned to drop off today. Last night she wrote me to say her situation had changed and she wanted to donate to "the fire people". I was going back to WCC today for another drop off, this time canned food, and was completely overwhelmed by her generosity - four bags of canned cat food and people food - a donation for complete strangers made by someone who often has to do without herself. Why? Compassion. Compassion is the basis for every kindness. Compassion can transform us, if we let it. Compassion can help us transform the lives of others. Sometimes we donate money to a good cause, sometimes we make sure someone gets what he/she needs, sometimes we spend time investing in something or someone other than ourselves, whether through activism or volunteer work, or both. We'll never regret showing compassion and sharing our gifts to benefit others. At the risk of sounding cliched it's my experience that the more I do for others the richer I am for having done it.
The people displaced by the 'Wellseley Fire' have a very long road home. Some will return to their apartments, some won't. Some will have furniture and clothing but based on what I heard this weekend about smoke and water damage, most won't. Luckily most will have their pets. If there was ever a time to feel compassion and reach out it's now. The victims of the fire will still be struggling long after the media and public consciousness move on to something else.
People came to the table draped in Red Cross blankets to inquire about pets still in the building. There wasn't a lot of information available at that time and people were despondent. No tears, no outrage, no panic - at least not visibly. I delivered the pet food I had brought with me, and as I was unpacking the last few items I looked down to my left and saw an American Eskimo dog. I was about to ask the owner if the dog needed any food when I realized that the owner was an online friend of mine! She had come to donate pet food, leashes, carriers, etc. Finally meeting her made my day, and on a personal note it was nice to share the experience with someone, even briefly. Trying to explain it after the fact - the smell of smoke, the sight of people wrapped in blankets, the despondence, the overwhelming need - is difficult because I'm not sure I have the words to adequately describe it. After my friend and I parted ways I drove straight back to the Oakville Milton Humane Society because I had delivered the entire pet food bank that day and had nothing left. Fortunately they had several large bags of dog food so I loaded up the car again and headed home (after a pit stop at the LCBO lol).
That evening I saw a tweet on Twitter that the supply of dog food at the WCC was adequate but there was a desperate need for cat food. My heart sank because that's the one thing Project Maddie never has enough of. I bought some from a retailer and called it a day.
Sunday was a beautiful fall day. I drove to Toronto in light traffic congratulating myself on leaving early enough to beat any gridlock. What I didn't know about was the marathon that had most of the exits from the Gardiner closed. After a few detours, with some much needed help from Matt, I arrived at WCC. Things were a little different there on Sunday. The first thing I noticed is that security had really tightened up. Only 'residents', staff and volunteers were allowed access to the building (although people making donations were allowed to bring their donations in). The second thing I noticed is that there was no smokey smell at all people had somehow managed to change their clothes. I can't imagine going through the trauma of a fire only to have to sit around in clothing that smelled like the fire that just turned your life upside down. Maybe this was the very beginning of a new start, the first leg of the long journey "home", wherever that will be. The building wasn't as crowded. It was a completely different vibe than the day before.
I had made plans to meet Matt after dropping off the food but once I got there I stayed and volunteered at the Animal Information table. The city employee working there was fantastic and we worked very well together. Toronto Animal Services had finished a 24 hour shift at 2am Sunday morning - that's how long it took to check all of the units they knew had pets in them. For simplicity's sake they called it "registering". By 11:30 TAS was back to make another sweep of newly "registered" units. The officer I spoke to said the building was straight out of a horror movie. Cobwebs with huge spiders in them, cockroaches... he couldn't believe people and pets were living in these conditions. The social worker I was working with also told me about residents who slept outside rather than on cots in the makeshift shelter because they were afraid of getting bedbugs. Inspite of having very little to begin with and quite possibly having lost it all to fire, smoke, or water damage, the mood at the 'shelter' was very congenial. Pet owners inquiring about their pets were reassured to hear that a) their pet was alive (most were) and b) enough food and water had been left for two days. More food and water was left for them today. Most of people I met were stoic, gracious, and demonstrated admirable grace in the face of unimaginable loss.
I was fortunate to meet a few people Project Maddie was helping including a very sweet couple and their wonder dog Kelsey (rhymes with Chelsea :) ). Kelsey is a rescued German Shepherd cross (one of my favourite breed mixes to work with because they're so fecking clever). She has some of the same phobias Chelsea does. She also has a strong prey-drive and likes to pull on the leash. Sitting outside having a smoke with them and talking about simple things they can do to manage these issues was probably one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. The boyfriend talked passionately about his years as a volunteer dog walker at Toronto Humane Society. I couldn't really wrap my mind around them thanking me so profusely for pet food when it's obvious that they do a lot for animals (and probably other people) themselves.
Last week, before the fire, I received a message from Maddie's 'mom'. She has another dog and needed some food for him, which I had set aside and planned to drop off today. Last night she wrote me to say her situation had changed and she wanted to donate to "the fire people". I was going back to WCC today for another drop off, this time canned food, and was completely overwhelmed by her generosity - four bags of canned cat food and people food - a donation for complete strangers made by someone who often has to do without herself. Why? Compassion. Compassion is the basis for every kindness. Compassion can transform us, if we let it. Compassion can help us transform the lives of others. Sometimes we donate money to a good cause, sometimes we make sure someone gets what he/she needs, sometimes we spend time investing in something or someone other than ourselves, whether through activism or volunteer work, or both. We'll never regret showing compassion and sharing our gifts to benefit others. At the risk of sounding cliched it's my experience that the more I do for others the richer I am for having done it.
The people displaced by the 'Wellseley Fire' have a very long road home. Some will return to their apartments, some won't. Some will have furniture and clothing but based on what I heard this weekend about smoke and water damage, most won't. Luckily most will have their pets. If there was ever a time to feel compassion and reach out it's now. The victims of the fire will still be struggling long after the media and public consciousness move on to something else.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
if you want inner peace it will cost you....
I just came across this article which is all kinds of amazing. I've seen "Eat, Pray, Love" in bookstores and while it was obviously really popular, I found the "pray" bit off-putting so I never bothered to buy it, or read it. Now that I've read the article titled "Eat, Pray, Spend, Priv-lit and the new, enlightened American dream", I'm really glad I didn't.
The premise of the book is a woman who leaves her un-fulfilling life behind to travel, find herself, find inner peace, etc. etc. etc. What most people don't know is the trip was actually paid for by her publisher, Viking, and she embarked on her (sponsored) journey with the intent to write a book about it. The "lesson" that this book (and others also mentioned in the article) is if you want a big spiritual payoff, you have to make big sacrifices. A little disingenuous when you consider that the author sacrificed very little.
For those seeking enlightenment, inner-peace, and contentment (and I count myself among them) we're supposed to want badly enough to give up everything - homes, jobs, families - to go on a journey to find them. As someone who lives paycheque to paycheque I can barely afford a vacation. The article also cautions that there is an implied message that there's something inherently wrong with women that needs to be fixed, thus necessitating the costly pursuit of a solution.
In today's economy, very few women can actually afford to leave their jobs and drop tens of thousands of dollars on a literal journey that's supposed to be spiritual, and why should we be expected to? An abundance of life lessons is available at little or no cost - friends, books, the internet, and of course, life itself.
The premise of the book is a woman who leaves her un-fulfilling life behind to travel, find herself, find inner peace, etc. etc. etc. What most people don't know is the trip was actually paid for by her publisher, Viking, and she embarked on her (sponsored) journey with the intent to write a book about it. The "lesson" that this book (and others also mentioned in the article) is if you want a big spiritual payoff, you have to make big sacrifices. A little disingenuous when you consider that the author sacrificed very little.
For those seeking enlightenment, inner-peace, and contentment (and I count myself among them) we're supposed to want badly enough to give up everything - homes, jobs, families - to go on a journey to find them. As someone who lives paycheque to paycheque I can barely afford a vacation. The article also cautions that there is an implied message that there's something inherently wrong with women that needs to be fixed, thus necessitating the costly pursuit of a solution.
In today's economy, very few women can actually afford to leave their jobs and drop tens of thousands of dollars on a literal journey that's supposed to be spiritual, and why should we be expected to? An abundance of life lessons is available at little or no cost - friends, books, the internet, and of course, life itself.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
jailing more people = epic fail
Blogger Impudent Strumpet asked "What is the political motivation behind jailing more people?"
Oh boy. There's political motivation, ideological motivation, and greed motivation.
The political motivation is to appeal to people who think "tough on crime" policies will bring crime rates down and keep them safe. There's also the "fear factor", that if people are afraid of crime and believe the government will keep them safe they'll give the government a longer leash, perhaps even letting the government infringe on its citizens civil rights (ie. Patriot Act).
We have become a throwaway society. I see it every day. If animals or people have problems, or are inconvenient, our society is more likely to put them down or away - out of sight, out of mind. Never mind that the factors that cause animal overpopulation, or criminal behaviour (poverty, disenfranchisement, racism), can be addressed but are not, so the cycle begins again.
Therein lies the ideological rub. People with conservative ideologies generally don't acknowledge that social factors contribute to criminal activity, whereas people with progressive ideologies are more likely to address these problems.
Then there's the profit motive. There's big money to be made in locking people up - if the institution housing them is privately or corporately owned. This was touched upon in Michael Moore's "Capitalism, a Love Story" but it is happening in Canada too. The secure detention/treatment facility I volunteer at is part of the private sector, not public sector, but all of the youths are there by court order.
The US model of "supermax" prisons is an epic fail. It doesn't work. Locking people up for 23 hours a day is sure to contribute to mental/emotional disorders, and increase anxiety and aggression. I consider myself a fairly level, compassionate person but if I had to spend 23 hours a day in a cage for years on end I might become a completely different person.
Supermax prisons are inhumane. I believe that most people are good. Most people in the justice system are good, but have made really bad decisions. I've made really bad decisions. Who hasn't? As a society are we prepared to say that people who make bad decisions are no longer human? No longer thinking, feeling people and no longer entitled to dignity? A decent quality of life? An opportunity to overcome whatever social, mental, or emotional impediments led them to commit crimes? I wouldn't keep a dog in a cage 23 hours a day. I wouldn't do that to a human being either.
By contrast, there are some models in the US in which inmates with serious convictions, including murder, are detained in lower security facilities. They have the freedom to come and go from their cells, to interact with other inmates, to participate in programs. These are dangerous people. So why aren't they shanking each other and rioting and attacking guards? Because they know they have a good thing and they don't want to blow it. These inmates are easier to manage than inmates in so-called "supermax" prisons.
It's time to re-think the way we view people who commit crimes, and the way they live while incarcerated.
My two cents.
Oh boy. There's political motivation, ideological motivation, and greed motivation.
The political motivation is to appeal to people who think "tough on crime" policies will bring crime rates down and keep them safe. There's also the "fear factor", that if people are afraid of crime and believe the government will keep them safe they'll give the government a longer leash, perhaps even letting the government infringe on its citizens civil rights (ie. Patriot Act).
We have become a throwaway society. I see it every day. If animals or people have problems, or are inconvenient, our society is more likely to put them down or away - out of sight, out of mind. Never mind that the factors that cause animal overpopulation, or criminal behaviour (poverty, disenfranchisement, racism), can be addressed but are not, so the cycle begins again.
Therein lies the ideological rub. People with conservative ideologies generally don't acknowledge that social factors contribute to criminal activity, whereas people with progressive ideologies are more likely to address these problems.
Then there's the profit motive. There's big money to be made in locking people up - if the institution housing them is privately or corporately owned. This was touched upon in Michael Moore's "Capitalism, a Love Story" but it is happening in Canada too. The secure detention/treatment facility I volunteer at is part of the private sector, not public sector, but all of the youths are there by court order.
The US model of "supermax" prisons is an epic fail. It doesn't work. Locking people up for 23 hours a day is sure to contribute to mental/emotional disorders, and increase anxiety and aggression. I consider myself a fairly level, compassionate person but if I had to spend 23 hours a day in a cage for years on end I might become a completely different person.
Supermax prisons are inhumane. I believe that most people are good. Most people in the justice system are good, but have made really bad decisions. I've made really bad decisions. Who hasn't? As a society are we prepared to say that people who make bad decisions are no longer human? No longer thinking, feeling people and no longer entitled to dignity? A decent quality of life? An opportunity to overcome whatever social, mental, or emotional impediments led them to commit crimes? I wouldn't keep a dog in a cage 23 hours a day. I wouldn't do that to a human being either.
By contrast, there are some models in the US in which inmates with serious convictions, including murder, are detained in lower security facilities. They have the freedom to come and go from their cells, to interact with other inmates, to participate in programs. These are dangerous people. So why aren't they shanking each other and rioting and attacking guards? Because they know they have a good thing and they don't want to blow it. These inmates are easier to manage than inmates in so-called "supermax" prisons.
It's time to re-think the way we view people who commit crimes, and the way they live while incarcerated.
My two cents.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
a matter of pride, a matter of principle
Thursday evening I was driving to a pet supply store to buy some toys for my foster kittens. Kiera and Chelsea were in the back seat. The plan was to get the toys, and then go to my parents' to pick up Lulu for our usual jog. I had to drive over some railroad tracks. Out of habit I looked in my rear view mirror as I braked to slow down and saw a maroon car bearing down on us - fast.
As I was slowly going over the tracks I saw the young male driver of the maroon car shaking his fist and gesturing out his window. I thought "whatever, what a punk". After the railroad tracks the road opened into two lanes. The guy pulled up next to us in the right lane, still gesturing, and then grabbed something and threw it hard against the side of my car. Those who know me well know that I generally refuse to be intimidated. Maybe it's because I'm proud, maybe it's because I'm stubborn. Maybe it's because my father was a police officer - he's a great person, but growing up intimidation was his MO if he thought I was getting out of line.
I didn't have any intention of playing games with this angry young guy - the pet supply store was closing in 20 minutes! But after I heard whatever he threw hit the side of my car I yanked the steering wheel to pull over to the right to write down his license plate number. I didn't know if there was any damage to my car and I wasn't stupid enough to get out and look. At first I was digging for my cell phone but when I couldn't find it immediately I scrambled to find a pen and paper to write down his license plate number.
The guy got out of his car, shirtless (classy) and yelled "I've got two kids in the backseat you f*cking c*nt". I said "I have two dogs in my backseat". I do generally slow down for railway tracks, but even more so when I have Kiera and Chelsea with me so they don't get tossed around. Then - and this is the hardest part for me to put out there for public consumption but it's also the most significant part - he spit in my face through the open window. Then he said "You're lucky I'm not a woman basher because I'd smash your face in". I shakily finished writing down the license plate number and drove on to the police reporting center.
By the time I reached the PRC I was sobbing and hyperventilating. The officer said he couldn't personally help me because he couldn't leave the desk and "somebody needs to go out to talk to this guy". He offered to have an officer called to the PRC but Kiera and Chelsea were in the back seat so I decided to go to my parents' house to collect myself a bit and then go to the Oakville police station to report what happened.
When I got to my parents' house my Mom took one look at me and knew something was terribly wrong. I started to tell her about it and as soon as I got to the part about pulling over to write down the license plate number she said "well you don't do that" or something like that. She told me it was very hot out and that I shouldn't let someone's "bad behaviour" upset me so much. I replied that flipping the bird is bad behaviour. Spitting in someone's face is assault, not bad behaviour. I was upset, exhausted, and wanted to get the entire thing behind me so I left and drove to the police station. The woman at the desk who took my story said it was an assault, without any prompting from me. I waited there for a police officer to arrive and take a report for an hour and a half. The woman at the desk said there had been some break and enters so it would be some time before an officer was available. I told her I would come back the next day, took the incident number, and left.
The next day (Friday) I returned to the police station. After waiting another hour and a half the woman at the desk that day said that someone had been on their way but then there was a fight at the Ministry of Transportation so it would be a while. She would have an officer come to my home to take the report. I gave her my cell phone number and left again.
The constable that came to my apartment to take the report was awesome. He was very kind and told me that what had happened was a type of assault under the Criminal Code and asked me if I'd like to press charges. I knew I couldn't in good conscience let it go so I said yes.
Today the constable called me and told me that the investigation had concluded and because there were conflicting stories he could not charge other party. He advised me that if I still want to press charges I can go to the Milton court house and speak with a Justice of the Peace, but there were no guarantees. It had been a very emotional 48 hours for me. I don't have a lot of extra money to be driving back and forth to Milton. I thought that maybe getting a visit from the police had sent a message to the guy so I said no, I wouldn't be pursuing it.
Since then I've had time to mull it over. In my mind I see him spitting and hear him saying that he would smash my face in. I also think about the peaceful protesters that were detained for 36 hours during the G20. I thought how can we live in a society where peaceful protesters are arrested and detained but throwing something at someone's car, spitting in her face and threatening to smash her face in had no consequences?
So now I'm reconsidering going to the courthouse. If I don't stand up for myself, who will? I'm sure this guy thought he could terrorize a young woman alone in a car and get away with it. Because of the shame I felt having someone spit in my face he almost did. But now this is bigger than me, bigger than him. I think of women who have been attacked - and injured - and never spoke up because they were afraid, or they thought nobody would care, or because they were ashamed. I care. I'm exhausted and discouraged not only because the police couldn't lay charges, but because of my own family's reaction to what happened. My Mom thinks it would be less stressful for me if I just dropped it. I have a low stress threshold right now, that's true, but I also need to believe that I'm worth standing up for. I refuse to be complicit in my own victimization.
As I was slowly going over the tracks I saw the young male driver of the maroon car shaking his fist and gesturing out his window. I thought "whatever, what a punk". After the railroad tracks the road opened into two lanes. The guy pulled up next to us in the right lane, still gesturing, and then grabbed something and threw it hard against the side of my car. Those who know me well know that I generally refuse to be intimidated. Maybe it's because I'm proud, maybe it's because I'm stubborn. Maybe it's because my father was a police officer - he's a great person, but growing up intimidation was his MO if he thought I was getting out of line.
I didn't have any intention of playing games with this angry young guy - the pet supply store was closing in 20 minutes! But after I heard whatever he threw hit the side of my car I yanked the steering wheel to pull over to the right to write down his license plate number. I didn't know if there was any damage to my car and I wasn't stupid enough to get out and look. At first I was digging for my cell phone but when I couldn't find it immediately I scrambled to find a pen and paper to write down his license plate number.
The guy got out of his car, shirtless (classy) and yelled "I've got two kids in the backseat you f*cking c*nt". I said "I have two dogs in my backseat". I do generally slow down for railway tracks, but even more so when I have Kiera and Chelsea with me so they don't get tossed around. Then - and this is the hardest part for me to put out there for public consumption but it's also the most significant part - he spit in my face through the open window. Then he said "You're lucky I'm not a woman basher because I'd smash your face in". I shakily finished writing down the license plate number and drove on to the police reporting center.
By the time I reached the PRC I was sobbing and hyperventilating. The officer said he couldn't personally help me because he couldn't leave the desk and "somebody needs to go out to talk to this guy". He offered to have an officer called to the PRC but Kiera and Chelsea were in the back seat so I decided to go to my parents' house to collect myself a bit and then go to the Oakville police station to report what happened.
When I got to my parents' house my Mom took one look at me and knew something was terribly wrong. I started to tell her about it and as soon as I got to the part about pulling over to write down the license plate number she said "well you don't do that" or something like that. She told me it was very hot out and that I shouldn't let someone's "bad behaviour" upset me so much. I replied that flipping the bird is bad behaviour. Spitting in someone's face is assault, not bad behaviour. I was upset, exhausted, and wanted to get the entire thing behind me so I left and drove to the police station. The woman at the desk who took my story said it was an assault, without any prompting from me. I waited there for a police officer to arrive and take a report for an hour and a half. The woman at the desk said there had been some break and enters so it would be some time before an officer was available. I told her I would come back the next day, took the incident number, and left.
The next day (Friday) I returned to the police station. After waiting another hour and a half the woman at the desk that day said that someone had been on their way but then there was a fight at the Ministry of Transportation so it would be a while. She would have an officer come to my home to take the report. I gave her my cell phone number and left again.
The constable that came to my apartment to take the report was awesome. He was very kind and told me that what had happened was a type of assault under the Criminal Code and asked me if I'd like to press charges. I knew I couldn't in good conscience let it go so I said yes.
Today the constable called me and told me that the investigation had concluded and because there were conflicting stories he could not charge other party. He advised me that if I still want to press charges I can go to the Milton court house and speak with a Justice of the Peace, but there were no guarantees. It had been a very emotional 48 hours for me. I don't have a lot of extra money to be driving back and forth to Milton. I thought that maybe getting a visit from the police had sent a message to the guy so I said no, I wouldn't be pursuing it.
Since then I've had time to mull it over. In my mind I see him spitting and hear him saying that he would smash my face in. I also think about the peaceful protesters that were detained for 36 hours during the G20. I thought how can we live in a society where peaceful protesters are arrested and detained but throwing something at someone's car, spitting in her face and threatening to smash her face in had no consequences?
So now I'm reconsidering going to the courthouse. If I don't stand up for myself, who will? I'm sure this guy thought he could terrorize a young woman alone in a car and get away with it. Because of the shame I felt having someone spit in my face he almost did. But now this is bigger than me, bigger than him. I think of women who have been attacked - and injured - and never spoke up because they were afraid, or they thought nobody would care, or because they were ashamed. I care. I'm exhausted and discouraged not only because the police couldn't lay charges, but because of my own family's reaction to what happened. My Mom thinks it would be less stressful for me if I just dropped it. I have a low stress threshold right now, that's true, but I also need to believe that I'm worth standing up for. I refuse to be complicit in my own victimization.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Bittersweet revolving door
One of the things any employee or volunteer at an animal shelter has to adapt to is getting attached to an animal and then watching it go on its way to a new life once it has been adopted. It hurts to know that you'll probably never see an animal you've invested so much of your time, heart and soul in again. The consolation, of course, is that it's on to a better, less stressful life.
Since Chelsea and I started doing pet therapy at Syl Apps last summer we've had the same three youths in the program. This week two of them were discharged. One is off to an assisted living/halfway house type arrangement in Toronto that specializes in kids with schizophrenia. Actually they specialize in people who "hear voices". People can't be diagnosed with schizophrenia until they reach a certain age. I really, really hope that our young friend will flourish in this environment and enjoy a better quality of life.
Our other young friend however, is leaving Syl Apps to go to a typical prison. The prison if fairly new, it's in Brampton, and by all media accounts it got off to a very rocky start. I know what our young friend's conviction is, and the circumstances surrounding it. As well as anyone on the peripheral of her life can, anyway. I also know how creative, bright, and sensitive she is. I can't help but worry about her, how she'll adapt, whether this will set her back in her mental health recovery.
But I know that I have to let go of my young friends the way I've learned to let go of dogs I've worked with and loved at the shelter. I'm in their lives for a finite amount of time and once that time is over I need to devote myself to the dogs, or in this case youths, who will take their places. One of the key principles of Buddhism is that everything is finite, temporary. This bittersweet revolving door is a good reminder of that, and a good reminder to put my heart and energy where they'll make a difference today.
Since Chelsea and I started doing pet therapy at Syl Apps last summer we've had the same three youths in the program. This week two of them were discharged. One is off to an assisted living/halfway house type arrangement in Toronto that specializes in kids with schizophrenia. Actually they specialize in people who "hear voices". People can't be diagnosed with schizophrenia until they reach a certain age. I really, really hope that our young friend will flourish in this environment and enjoy a better quality of life.
Our other young friend however, is leaving Syl Apps to go to a typical prison. The prison if fairly new, it's in Brampton, and by all media accounts it got off to a very rocky start. I know what our young friend's conviction is, and the circumstances surrounding it. As well as anyone on the peripheral of her life can, anyway. I also know how creative, bright, and sensitive she is. I can't help but worry about her, how she'll adapt, whether this will set her back in her mental health recovery.
But I know that I have to let go of my young friends the way I've learned to let go of dogs I've worked with and loved at the shelter. I'm in their lives for a finite amount of time and once that time is over I need to devote myself to the dogs, or in this case youths, who will take their places. One of the key principles of Buddhism is that everything is finite, temporary. This bittersweet revolving door is a good reminder of that, and a good reminder to put my heart and energy where they'll make a difference today.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Myth #1 - it's possible for the OSPCA to do it all
The story that an OSPCA branch planned to euthanize over 300 animals due to an outbreak of a seemingly non-severe illness was the heart break heard 'round the web. Animal lovers mobilized, at least one protest was organized and a Facebook group called "STOP THE SLAUGHTER OF OVER 350 ANIMALS AT THE NEWMARKET OSPCA!!!!!!!" has nearly ten thousand members.
People are devastated, especially because there's no doubt that "human error" played a role in the outbreak becoming as widespread as it did.
Whether I'm reading a newspaper article or just checking Facebook, the resounding question seems to be "can't they find another way?".
The answer, sad though it may be, is probably not. Making difficult decisions is part of the job for shelter management and veterinarians. Every day the welfare of any (or all) of the animals in a given shelter must be weighed against the greater good. The "greater good" is ultimately whatever will save the most animals in the long run. Some times it's a space issue. Some times it's a cost issue. If there were unlimited space and funds to look after homeless animals until they find forever homes there would be no issues. But that's not the world we live in. Yet.
Probably one of the most outrageous statements I've read over the last two days is that the OSPCA is somehow hypocritical given the recent raid on THS and the charges laid against senior staff members.
Everyone is entitled to an informed opinion, but let's get one thing absolutely straight. The situation at THS occurred because THS allegedly refused to humanely euthanize suffering animals. There was also a dead cat contained in a trap in THS's ceiling. Make no mistake that cat suffered as it starved to death.
The OSPCA is not going against their veterinarians' recommendations. The large scale humane euthanization was recommended by more than one veterinarian. There is no proof, or even suspicion, that the OSPCA was involved in animal cruelty, except perhaps by allowing the outbreak to grow as out of control as it did due to human error or negligence, and even this might not have been 100% preventable.
I've also read comments that the OSPCA should have sent sick animals home with willing foster families. No SPCA or Humane Society would knowingly put a diseased animal in a home when the disease can be and probably will be transmitted to people and pets in the home. Even if it's not life-threatening. Would you knowingly bring an animal with ringworm into your home knowing that you and your pets will likely be infected? I wouldn't. And for all the people who say they would, if push came to shove and the OSPCA called them and said "ok, we have a cat with ringworm for you to foster" I can only imagine how quickly they'd back out, because it doesn't make sense to put their own families and animals through avoidable discomfort or suffering.
And that's the problem with this sad, sad situation. People aren't being rational and they aren't making sense. Their hearts are broken and they want to believe that there's a way - any way - for these 350 animals to have a happily ever after. Without bankrupting the OSPCA branch in the process, of course, so that animals can continue to have a chance down the road. Should they save 300 even if the cost of saving those lives will thousands of other lives over the next several years? No.
You may not want to believe it's an "either/or" situation, but every day presents decision makers at shelters with "either/or" situations. The people who work at shelters accept this, for the most part. They have to believe that what they're doing is for the greater good in order to go to work each day and deal with the things they do. But people who are a bit more removed, they still need to believe that it's possible to do it all. It's not. They need to believe that this isn't what we've come to as a society. It is. Hundreds of homeless animals die in Ontario every week. The equation will never balance in favour of the animals until the space and funds available exceed the number and needs of homless animals.
There is one way, and only one to guarantee that you don't add to an "either/or" situation and that is to spay and neuter all of your pets. Period. Every single animal in that shelter had been abandoned by someone. Every.Single.One. If you really want to help animals don't ever be a "someone". You can also send a few bucks to your local Humane Society or OSPCA branch so that when emergencies arise - and they will - they are better equipped financially to deal with them.
People are devastated, especially because there's no doubt that "human error" played a role in the outbreak becoming as widespread as it did.
Whether I'm reading a newspaper article or just checking Facebook, the resounding question seems to be "can't they find another way?".
The answer, sad though it may be, is probably not. Making difficult decisions is part of the job for shelter management and veterinarians. Every day the welfare of any (or all) of the animals in a given shelter must be weighed against the greater good. The "greater good" is ultimately whatever will save the most animals in the long run. Some times it's a space issue. Some times it's a cost issue. If there were unlimited space and funds to look after homeless animals until they find forever homes there would be no issues. But that's not the world we live in. Yet.
Probably one of the most outrageous statements I've read over the last two days is that the OSPCA is somehow hypocritical given the recent raid on THS and the charges laid against senior staff members.
Everyone is entitled to an informed opinion, but let's get one thing absolutely straight. The situation at THS occurred because THS allegedly refused to humanely euthanize suffering animals. There was also a dead cat contained in a trap in THS's ceiling. Make no mistake that cat suffered as it starved to death.
The OSPCA is not going against their veterinarians' recommendations. The large scale humane euthanization was recommended by more than one veterinarian. There is no proof, or even suspicion, that the OSPCA was involved in animal cruelty, except perhaps by allowing the outbreak to grow as out of control as it did due to human error or negligence, and even this might not have been 100% preventable.
I've also read comments that the OSPCA should have sent sick animals home with willing foster families. No SPCA or Humane Society would knowingly put a diseased animal in a home when the disease can be and probably will be transmitted to people and pets in the home. Even if it's not life-threatening. Would you knowingly bring an animal with ringworm into your home knowing that you and your pets will likely be infected? I wouldn't. And for all the people who say they would, if push came to shove and the OSPCA called them and said "ok, we have a cat with ringworm for you to foster" I can only imagine how quickly they'd back out, because it doesn't make sense to put their own families and animals through avoidable discomfort or suffering.
And that's the problem with this sad, sad situation. People aren't being rational and they aren't making sense. Their hearts are broken and they want to believe that there's a way - any way - for these 350 animals to have a happily ever after. Without bankrupting the OSPCA branch in the process, of course, so that animals can continue to have a chance down the road. Should they save 300 even if the cost of saving those lives will thousands of other lives over the next several years? No.
You may not want to believe it's an "either/or" situation, but every day presents decision makers at shelters with "either/or" situations. The people who work at shelters accept this, for the most part. They have to believe that what they're doing is for the greater good in order to go to work each day and deal with the things they do. But people who are a bit more removed, they still need to believe that it's possible to do it all. It's not. They need to believe that this isn't what we've come to as a society. It is. Hundreds of homeless animals die in Ontario every week. The equation will never balance in favour of the animals until the space and funds available exceed the number and needs of homless animals.
There is one way, and only one to guarantee that you don't add to an "either/or" situation and that is to spay and neuter all of your pets. Period. Every single animal in that shelter had been abandoned by someone. Every.Single.One. If you really want to help animals don't ever be a "someone". You can also send a few bucks to your local Humane Society or OSPCA branch so that when emergencies arise - and they will - they are better equipped financially to deal with them.
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